This little bubble of mine

When one finds God his or her trueness is supposed to shine out...to all. But I realise that true face...the face of love, gentleness, self-control, joy, patience, kindness, goodness and faithfulness...tends to hold back in front of people who don't know me and my relationship with God...I tend to wear these masks. Not bad masks or anything ta, just not me
Horrible, horrible :(

Over and out
nessy :)xxx

The soft wind teasing my hair, pushing it to and fro, the sound of the rope's effort seemingly comforting, that weightless feeling of when your being carried. My hands are burning slightly from holding on, and yet I cannot let go.
The time has come...my heart starts pounding . I feel each beat in my throat, louder louder...my knees tremor slightly but my feet are firm. I push up as hard but as slowly as I can. I can't believe I'm challenging physics. As soon as I get used to the position I hear an instructive shout from above. Without thinking I push ever so slightly, a bit of rope is released enabling me to move further down the massive rock. Suddenly my feet reach a different kind of stableness..my body straightens out..I am as nature intended, vertically upright. As a drop of sweat traces down my temple I can say out loud 'I've gone abseiling'.

Well sadly I haven't really, this is just what I thought it would be like hehe. Either that or a one scream till my feet hit ground. I'm supposed to be going tomorrow but I'm sick *sadness*

Prayers and sleepy kisses
Van

Just saw this video on you tube, tis a bit freaky, in fact I wanted to check if maybe they would need to use it for youthful worship one time, but i don't know it has this freaky vibe hehe.

Anyway the reason I posted it is cause it made me think of something: If you try to be like the world it gets harder every day, and the more you try, the more you fail..until one day, your'e going to break...becoming a a robot to the world doesn't look to ideal :S

Van :D

I'm back :D I found my water in the desert, my raincoat in the rain, my sword and sheild in the battle...I can gladly say, God and I are in love again. I can finally relax, give up everything to Him again. I really forgot what it felt like, to be able to give all my worries to Him. Thankfully his patience is beyond comprehension....

   First of all I want to say this: I rode on a motorbike :D Hehe I've always wanted to do it and today I was offered a lift home in one. YOu know those girls who look so comfortable on their bike, and hold on to the back of the seat, come off their motorbike, take off their helmet, shake their hair side to side, put the helmet down and walk away sexily...that so wasn't me :S It was more of a shivering so much cause the wind was cold on my face, couldn't put down the glass thingy on the helmet to cover my face, Shout in pain with every bump in the road (and im telling you, with a motorbike, you feel the bumps), the coming off the bike wasn't too bad it was kind of like getting off a horse, then....The Helmet Part! Hehe not easy to get it off your face lol, and my hair came in a one big puff :D But other than that it was lovely :D Always wanted to try it, finally have :D Big thanks to clinton who offered me the lift :) 

Its 9:30pm and I am in bed. This has been happening alot lately. I don't like it. Latley i have been feeling rather down low. Not depressed or anything, not even stressed out. I've got my usual amount of work to do, but I just don't want to do it. Not don't feel like but don't want to. I really just want to get away. Far far far away...

I love this pic, really shows what im feeling atm, theyre detatching from what they know....not the reproducing part hehe.

I'm a list person :D Hehe funny thing really, I would never have said that im a planner, but i actually planned out my life until summer. My days are structured by a paper that says what im supposed to be doing. It's quite funny really, I made this list, I could tear it up whenever it suits me, but I somehow feel compelled to stick to it because..why would I have written it in the first place if not to stick to it right?

On further inspection of this list I realised that i have no 'leisure time' or 'maintance time' (u know going from one place to another) as mike put it..so the list must be scarapped and re-done.

On a more normal note..tomorrow I have my first Speech Therapy Observation. I will officially know what my life wil be like in 4 years time :)

Also, I need more me-Jesus time. It's like im deliberatley avoiding God, and just don't want to speak to Him. No idea why I do this to myself. As Matt explained quite nicely..I'm in the middle of the desert...and i sure do want to get out of it about now, but I realised God isn't gna throw the water at my feet, instead he's giving me the strength to keep walking, and the patience to no give up. So I'll gladly take what he's giving me..and move forward, cause if I stay here, I'll die :S

I also realised something about blogging, which is truly nice...It's not really for the other people in my case, I dont even think my life is interesting or my writing style is cool. The thing is I sort out my thoughts by writing them down, and typing them down doesnt tire me at all.
So happiness on that..

I'm out...
Nessa
Gb, all who are in the desert too, keep walking ;)

Ok, so im blogging :D I still can't believe it. Thing is I see so many blogs and I love reading them and I've always tried to write a diary thingy but it never worked..it ended up being a list of things I did during the day like: I slept I ate I showered Went to school Came home.....So here I can actually write whenever I want and the design is done for me (which is one of the reasons I wanted to blog :D) Anywho...anyones welcome to enter my bubble...

I'm leaving you with me on my bubble hehe, for those who are judging the pic with a critical eye (*coughbrother*) please rem its my first time using photo shop. I would have loved to put me INTO the bubble but my skills havent advanced as far as yet :S

Thats it for now:)
Ness :D