This little bubble of mine

I had to sit for a while and just be happy. Norah jones playing in my ear, the cool wind brushing my face and ruffling my hair as it moves God's nature as they dance in unison around me. A tree almost playfully throws its fruit at my feet, and as I look up the leaves sway above my head, letting only a ray of light through warming my back through my clothes. What's not to love about life? Not only this moment but my whole life. Moving out of the garden into the streets the scenery's different, less beautiful perhaps, but my attitude isn't. A smile, A nod, a little gesture of help...of course Life is still beautiful.

Im gonna restart my blogging...because i can and because im happy :) hehe You know when you have one of those great nights, in which youre smiling from beginning to end? Where you get home and you're still smiling. When even though you got home, u think about funny things that happened and laugh out loud alone? I've had one of these nights.

Tonight we had rehearsals of the jesuitband thingy, and it was so much fun, I sang along with gianluca and julian, and i must day i am very impressed at how beautiful it all sounds..with veronica on violin (amazing bdw) and roxanne on piano (brilliant and julian on guitar ( love that he says he doesnt know music and he can play like that)..anywho all in all i enjoyed myself immensly. This followed by a night of mc donalds with fr. mike, veronica, br. carl, tin, (i forgot name ..sry :S) :) laugher soo much.

Ok this sucked as a blog, i must say..but i have a point i promise... Friends are awesome but family is so much better. Make sure the friends or acquiantances you make are worth the getting to know...its so important :)

^^

Hello wonderful people :)

I am in one of the happiest moods despite the fact that tomorrow is Monday and I have work xD I just came back from the community girl's day, and it was brilliant. I will summarize in points cause I don't really feel like typing much, too much things to do...I refuse to spend my night on my laptop. So:

-Desiree's designs
-Worship was fun but scary
-Photo's galore
-Warewolf
-This is a bib, this is a bob
-Secret sister ^^ thank you heidi :)
-Peace song & my soul sings :)
-Caroline's amazing talk
-really good company
-Unity
-Jesus ^^

There was also an incident with the piano. If Joe is reading this he'll probably panic...no joe, I didn't break it hehe. It's just you don't realise how big a synthesizer is until you try fit it into a car, or two for that matter. First try was Charlene's car. It took us 15 mins with lots of laughs and crouching on the floor for need to go piss. We manage to fit it vertically, jabbing behind my back, therefore pushing me towards the dashboard, hehe was interesting indeed. Second car was Rachel's. Now Rachel's car looks big..but it's deceiving because it's very low, so it had to fit horizontally, but since it was so big it didn't fit, so with Lara's intelligence we managed to fit it in, by opening the door and closing it from the inside. Phew lol.

Anywho over all, Ecstatic, elated, overjoyed, thrilled, delighted, blissful, rapturous and euphoric can all describe my present mood ^^

Divine exhaustion :)



des' design :)

I am now 20! Yes indeed I have embraced the fact that I am not a teen, and according to Karla, old xD

On that note..my birthday was fun..in a very relaxed happy way ^^ It started off with sunglasses at night at midnight..was fun but by the end of it I needed my bed badly.

Woke up to find my mummy holding an orchid. Now to many, this wouldn't be something to write home about, but in all honesty, it made me the happiest bunny alive :)Orchids are my favorite flowers, they're so beautiful and they give me this happy feeling :) So anyway I now own a pretty white and pink orchid ^^

Also happiness and BIG thanks to Malcolm and Daniela who drove up to Bugibba to surprise me with a muffin and birthday wishes. Gave me the biggest smile, and it kept lingering on my face all day :) *curtsy* thanks ^^

Afternoon was spent at exiles relaxing, and evening spent at Piccolo Padre. Balcony there is beautiful :)

Today was one of those happy days too :) After work, where I met a lot of interesting students which rarely happens I went to this new place that opened next to my house in Gzira called 'the white sheep'. You know the film chocolat? well it reminds me of that. It has all this neat food stuff which is all organic and yummy, and when I tell you life is happy in there I mean it. I bought vanilla pods xD baking has begun! I was also told by the lady of the shop that I would called to work there if they need :) Thats what u get when you smile so much all the time..people hire you hehe.

Well thats about it :) I is happy, but unfortunately sick :( I have a cold with a constant cough and tonsil pain...which is really annoying because I have a 6 day week for work this week and a hell of a a lot to do..so prayers are greatly appreciated and needed.



'The white sheep' happy shop



Their card..I know happy right? ^^



My pretty orchid :)

Today I didn't go out, as I haven't been home all day in a really long time. While I was home I had quite a lot of things to do, some of these included washing the floor for my mum and cleaning the room - stuff which I don't particularly look forward to doing. While I was doing that I realized how there were some things that I said I would work on this summer, but haven't started yet, and one of these was starting to cook and bake. So I sat down and started looking for recipes. This in turn made me very happy. I was taken round the food world with Jamie Oliver (as was once recommended by Mig) and got sucked into a world of grilled marinated mozzarella with crunchy bread, salmon tikka and all types of omelets (one of which I was successful at making ^^ *glee*). The happiest were the truffles, chocolate biscuits with a soft centre, soufflés and creme brulee's. I didn't make any of these, merely planned them and got the recipe, but once that's done I know I'll start.

Moving on to the point of this blog, yesterday, something said at the GG weekend really stuck with me. In Genesis 2:18 the Lord says 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is right for him.' May I emphasize...HELPER not slave. So anyway woman was given from man, for man and given as a gift to man. Also man and woman were asked to 'have many children and grow in number', so woman's role as a mother is part of God's plan.
So anyway, while I was looking for recipes and cleaning up, a thought came to mind. Whatever I do now is in preparation for my future husband. I'm not looking for one or anything...but it's a nice way to look at it so as to not moan about it. So other than enjoying what I'm doing it's a sort of training to become a woman God planned for me to become. Makes me happy:)

toodles ^^

P.S. to Kai: description of you will be coming in my next blog.

P.P.S: Pretty pics will come up, as soon as my search engine works again :)

Laura, laura what can I say about thee? hehe I will explain: Me and Loz were commenting about our lack of things to talk about on our blogs, so an intelligent boy who was eavesdropping on our conversation (it's ok we forgive you steve :P) came up with the idea of writing about each other...I actually do have things to say today which defeats the whole point of the project but..how can one not talk about Lozie anyway right? So here goes:

From the moment I met loz, I immediately thought: fun. She looked so happy and englishy, and said phrases like 'What's wrong pet?' hehe. I thought she fit right in with us crazy people. From that time on, I've learnt quite a few things about her.

First off, her smell, in a good way ^^. She has that unique perfume that immediately puts her face to mind when you smell it, other than the fact that it leaves it remnants on you making u think of her constantly :P

Secondly, her eyes..wow. Its not only the colour, it's the way she looks at you when you talk to her, she actually looks into your eyes, making you feel like she's really listening. And in those eyes, one can really see a kindness and a love for life.

Thirdly, her way of life. She reminds me of Zooey Deschanel. I once told her that I could imagine her going around her apartment sipping a glass of red wine listening to Tom Jones and singing along, and she responded with a 'why are u stalking me' look hehe. I mean gta love her for that. I'll add to this section her blogs, love reading them...give me a happy feeling.

Fourthly, her courage. I mean she left her country to move to Malta, a place with some family, and a many acquaintances at that time, and now she's got no acquaintances, but one big family + her real family hehe.

Fifthly, and this I discovered yesterday: her smile when she has a camera in hand..it's like that of an excited little girl. ^^

I think thats about it for now..can't wait to get to know u more :)

Now, about this weekend:

Yesterday we had the Healing service at night. Was as usual amazing, God really showed His glory, and a lot of people were touched :)

Today we had the continuation of the y4j girls weekend. And it was amazing. I learnt quite a few things about how to be a woman of God. I was quite impressed with mike's aunts' talk (can't remember her name), about being a mother and wife in the future...really changed my perspective on things a bit. I was also taken back 6 years with Tutzi's talk when they came to St. Dorothy's school to give a talk on sexuality, and we were given the choice to sign a paper saying true love waits, and I had and kept it in my purse ever since, and anyway..now I have the 2009 version hehe.

I also urge Achie to take up tattooing as a profession hehe. She drew on my leg and I really like it, I actually want to keep it, and draw a henna on it. Picture below :)



toodles ^^

I'm at home on a Friday night, and it's not because I'm sad :)

I'm sitting at my desk writing this blog, with a glass of red wine, Laura Izibor 'shine' singing in the background, and I'm rather content. :) Matt if you're reading this..i can imagine you becoming a writer and writing in the wee hours of the night with a glass of red wine just like this :)

Anywhooo... today I bought pwetty shoes and pwetty clothes. I haven't done that in a while, exams and then work, but today me and my mummy went together..loved it. About the shoes, did I mention they're pretty? They make me feel like I'm 12 and carefree hehe, funny how shoes can do that to you xD

Tomorrow after work, I'll be going to the girl's weekend thingy of y4j, Pretty excited I must say. Me and charlene have wanted to have one of these for a real long time, and now God has finally answered our prayers. So tehheee ><

A big squeeze and massive smile to Ian, Bernice, Mig, Mike, Matt, Krissie and Des who are all far away from home :( I'm missing you all so much.

Well thats it really, I know it's a blog about nothing really, but oh well..deal with it :)

Nessie :)

I'm a loon.

Last time I was sitting on the fountain of Valletta, and it was a bit windy and the water of the fountain was spraying on my back. It was such a nice feeling, only that the water is rather dirty as you might have realized. But...I couldn't care less. I just sat there whilst looking at people hassling about it and trying to cover their hair from the beautiful spray. And I was there...sitting with my hair blowing in the breeze and getting wet, and loving it xD

Anyway since I had nothing better to do than wait (as it was what I was doing in the first place) I started writing down some things which make me happy and I came up with these:

1. Little children blowing bubbles and then running after them
2. Laughing out loudly without caring
3. Remembering something funny in a quiet place full of people and muffling the laugh
4. Having a warm shower and getting into bed after a day at the beach
5. Sleeping knowing you don't have to wake up early the next day
6. Somebody smiling back at you when you smile at them
7. Being able to content myself from these silly things ><

Toodles and smiles :)

My room is starting to form. My character is starting to be instilled and, I'm finally starting to feel comfortable in Bugibba :D Why this sudden comfort? My brother started my first drawing on my wall. :)

You see I usually always have some form of drawing on my wall, as you can imagine. Whoever knows my brother, and mother for that matter knows why. My brother- the artist, my mother- the 'it's ok, as long as it remains in your room' :) Hence, my first drawing of the many to come in my room :)

I remember reading my brothers blog about a new chapter in his life and I remember thinking how scary it was to start a new chapter, to leave all the rest behind and to keep going strong for the rest of the book.

Well I turned the page and found it's the end of the book. I'm starting a new one. The last one was amazing, there are no words to explain it..Honestly, It was a very happy 2 years of my life. To stop using metaphors, cause I'm rather tired to keep it going...many things have changed and are still changing. me and mike are no longer a couple. It's a funny feeling, and I can't believe it. We still see each other a lot, being in the same community and everything. Today we were pondering on how funny Christian break ups are. You don't pass through the normal steps of a break up: denial, realisation, despair, regret, eagerness to fill the void, regret again (this part could be recurring) and then okness. It's more like: feel a void, fill it with God, smile and be friends. I'm not saying there aren't feelings involved because I must say this hurts a lot, but there's something different. I suppose that's what we mean when we say we have God's joy...it's eternal, it remains no matter what.


In my new book (metaphor's back), there is chaplaincy. :) I never thought I would be so comfortable with new people so quickly. The people there are pretty awesome, and honestly, studying has never been more fun. I also love the way love shows through them all, in the sense that it's like one big family..makes me happy :D

Intercession is doing great. I love the togetherness there too. Meeting a lot of new people all of a sudden, which is really awesome. Summer is starting very nicely indeed :)

I also want this to be a new start where my relationship with God is on a new level. For these past 2 years I have never been on the road with God alone. Now I am, and I think it's gna be a blast hehe. I want to go deeper with Him, and I want to play for Him alone, I want to sing for Him alone. :)

Thats about it for now,

Bring on the change...in small gentle doses if you don't mind :)

Van :)

I am very happy to say: One to go :D Finally, these exams drained me of all sanity, and deprived me of a lot of food too.. :S Finally enough though, these exams haven't drained me of happiness. I've been studying at chaplaincy for these past week I think, and I must say I am very happy indeed. It feels very nice to share the stresses of a students life with other people who are passing through the same thing. And the good thing is, it's not even shared with moaning and groaning, but rather through smiles and 'ejja l-ahhar ftit's. So I am a happy chick ><

Although everything is good with my 'social' life, if you want to call it that, My head has been turned upside down and is still trying to function normally. It's not really the exams, more.....I don't know...my confusion. Confusion and me were going out in 6th form, but I thought we broke up for good, and I never wanted to see him again. However he returned begging for forgiveness...and silly me took him back. And now, he's here to stay he says. Problem is I hate this feeling. I feel like I don't know what I want anymore...ekk like every area of my life is at that point where I have to decide something, and I don't know what it is. Bleh, I want it to go now. I want to have a happy care free summer not a pensive one. Ehh...God knows.

On the bright side this can finally happen:

I love playing with my food. Little faces shine out to me...so today I decided to put them on paper...here they are:



Sun grass and flower out of 'moon and stars' cocopops










:) I was bored xD

hmm, what else did I want to relate, Oh yes. Me and estelle had our final observation thank God. However in this one I got a rather unpleasant farewell gift. For those who don't know, for university we have to observe children and see their normal development...not random children, we're not stalkers, we have 3 children whom we observe 3 times each throughout the year. Anywhooo...this particular boy (age 3) is a wee bit hyperactive one he gets to know you, in the good way. Anyway I was playing scary monster with him (scary monster being me) and i grabbed him, and told him I wasn't get to let go and I was going to eat him. So as it was this boy was 'sitting' on my knee. And all of a sudden a feel this warmth, and hear this familiar but not too common (or socially acceptable for that matter) sound. The child had farted on my knee :( and not silently. I didnt know what to do, I turn round and see Estelle's fuzzy hair shaking in fits of laughter, I just burst out laughing and little boy just skipped off content from his freedom of the big scary giant. o0. Wonderful lol.

Also today was a wonderful day :) Other than the head and neck studying, I must say I spent a blissful day with mike...hehe we went to shop for food cause we decided we wanted to cook. Our shopping result was: Coco pops, budino, which we made ourselves, galletti, parma ham, a carton of milk, bake rolls and orange juice. We thought of krissie shouting at us to eat something substantial and healthy hehe...xD Was much funness :D

Toodles

I was studying psychology, and something struck me. Now this doesn't usually happen as everything that comes out of my psychology books usually sounds high and made for stoner's to reflect upon. However... This hit me:

Erikson talks about stages in life, and what goes into each. Some are a bit stretched, but he talks about this particular stage, called 'Adolescence: Identity vs Role confusion' This stage goes on from 13-19. He describes how during this stage an identity crisis is normal, however such problems should be resolved at this point..if not there would be a frantic search for identity starting again in old age. He thought that identity resulted from role confusion (ie who u are and what you want to do in life). He says that the most disturbing part is youth's ability to decide an occupational identity. Finally if none of this is resolved, one may develop a negative identity: where one acts hostile towards roles offered as proper and desirable by the community. He also adds that people in this stage cannot love(be intimate) in the truest sense because of the still struggling search for identity.

Now he may be wrong about the love thing but what struck me is the similarity between that generation and this. Think about it...About 80% of university students are not happy in their course and have no idea what they want to do..I wont even talk about 6th formers. I'm not different, I only recently found out I wanted to be a speech therapist. Now he says that this stage finishes at 19 supposedly...maybe our generation experienced a stretch of that. Either that or, our past stages are not fully developed, which is quite disturbing cos one one of those stages is the muscular-anal stage (i.e. excretion) :S

hmmmm.. xD

I am saying goodbye:

Goodbye to my hermitting
Goodbye to my anxiety
Goodbye to my stress
Goodbye to my grumpiness
Goodbye to my competition
Goodbye to my procrastination
Goodbye to my frowns
Goodbye to my tears

Hello to bright sunny, hyper, happy, bubbly, outgoing, not too anxious, excited about life, cannot be pushed down, not fearsome, slightly procrastinated, not worry bound, slightly weird, in love with God ME :)

Hello old friend :)

... xD

sunnyside up :)

Me and my brother were thinking and it made me happy :D Our generation is so different from that of our parents...as in family wise. Our parent's family's are so big, my mum has 5 other brothers and sisters and my dad has 6. So Sunday lunch is always a must, and it's a big event..all my uncles and aunts shouting over plates of hot food, wine in abundance, cousins running around annoying everyone. Then there's the ritual of washing the plates where everyone has a job to do with rolling sleeves, and finally there's the coffee and talk of money or the recent disaster going on...I'm sure ure all familiar.

But...

Our generation only consists of 5 children Max. Speaking for us, we're only me and my brother...so we were thinking Sunday lunches will be really fun. Though not in the way mentioned above. It won't be a ritual..sometimes at mine sometimes at his with our children and husbands/wives hehe. And then we kept thinking (only children fear not) that we could really imagine oursleves going to our friends house for Sunday brunch, lunch, breakfast whatever...and the thought made me really happy...our family become our friends, and the feeling is very different. So different from the previous relationship. No more groans for Sunday lunch in the future :D

I watched a movie and it made me think, so i'll let you in on my thought shall I?
So, the girl in the movie said this: 'Everybody should go around with big signs on their chest saying what they are, like 'I'm a pervert' or 'I'm happy' or 'I'm a Christian'. It made me think..what would my sign be? It has to be the word that describes me, that people would immediately understand what I'm about. Maybe "I'm happy" hehe :D

Hmm xD

So I was looking through my photos and I realised some of them were making me really happy, so I decided to post them:

I'll give you all some ramblings of this past week :D

First of all, my happy news: I diagnosed a patient..a real one, at a hospital and I was right :D We had observations at outpatients in Mater Dei and this girl came in with no voice..and to put a long thought processing story short, she was diagnosed correctly by me and another girl in the class :D We got a thumbs up from the doctor in charge. Very proud moment. I also performed a rhinoscopy, which sounds nicer than it actually is...it's basically stuffing a metal thing up a patients nose and looking inside it with a shiny torch thingy..but still my hands were shaking and I thought I was going to pull the patients nostrils off :S

Also I wanted to mention something that I took away from the FGBMFI seminar. The only difference between those 100 something successful rich businessmen in that room and me (other than the obvious) is that they believe. Not only in an awesome God, but also in their potential as Christians that they can do all. All their testimonies had more or less the same pattern. life going great, bankruptcy, God, booming business. They all though had faith in what they could do and kept working on it and trusting in God. Success is one decision away :)

Yesterday I had an epiphany and ignored it, today I'm writing about it and adapting it to my life :)
I will start from the beginning:

Yesterday I was walking to the St. Julians church from teaching Catechism, and as I was walking through Spinola and that area, I got really happy. It was perfect weather being 6 o'clock and still light. Spinola looked very picturesque, and I was very happy to be there. The sun was shining softly and I felt the heat on my back. With JJ Heller in my ear and the people in the streets conventionally relaxed I felt the world was a very good place. I really felt God there at that moment. I started remembering who God is - God. He can do ALL! He can help me pass my exams, and get A's. He is the God who can help me through financial, emotional and physical problems, He is the God who can get me a car, He is the God who saved me from death. He is the God who can move mountains, He is the God who rises the sun for me, He is GOD!!

So after this very happy walk, I decided to go thank Him, so I went to the adoration chapel in the St. Julians church. When I sat down I realised the Eucharist was put in a glass box (which is not unusual at all). But it got me thinking. We put God in a box. He tells us He can take away all our worries, and yet as human beings, we try to put Him in a box. We limit his work. He wants to use us to our fullest potential, and we let Him use us to our least (if we let Him use us at all). We tend to put Him in a glass box where we can see Him, He can see us, but we just don't let Him out to work.

I couldn't wait to get back out and walk with God again. I've decided to open my glass box, and let Him out. I can now reach my fullest potential with God.

As my eyes move over the pink being slowly and carefully drawn over the white paper with black markings, I feel my eyelids slowly getting heavier. The feeling of my hand sliding over the paper seems to become more soothing, and the monotonous page seems to fill with life with the highlighted colour, although this doesn't make it more interesting.
My eyelids feel even heavier now, but I don't want to stop.

I need some sort of prompting to snap me out of the daze, so I close the book and slide it off the desk. As I realise the sound wasn't too big I look down and realise I've created a house around me of stacked books...

My little house... :)

I think I'll live here for a while... XD

Lately I have been thinking...
Of those times in which your word touched my heart
In which it took just a sound of you to make me believe
Lately I’ve been thinking...
Of those times in which the whole world would know
And then I started thinking...
Of what happened
Why have I stopped caring, trusting, believing?
What pain has shot doubt into my heart?
What suffering has inflicted indifference?
What nature of sin can pull you away from the one you love?
What flicker of hope can save you?
I stop thinking and suddenly remember...
Your touch
Your words
Your love
I'm saved again

ahhhh :) can you feel it? Calmness in your hearts? Quite amazing considering we're in the midst of that horrible storm...exam time. God can give that to you, the calmness I mean. He is truly wonderful, and I am truly grateful :)

Leaving with soft hugs xxx

Hehe I have definitely :D I wont say anything just in case ppl dont know of this happy surpirse :D So for those of you who do know...happiness :D

Sorry I wierded you all out lol, but had to write that im really happy :)

Van xxx

I'm using this blog to ask you all a question..

As those of you who know me, know my empty wall in my room is like an empty canvas for simon, and therefore we are in need of ideas of what to draw on that wall. If any one has any ideas at all, please comment :D

Also, im customizing my blog :D hehe, if you scroll down to the bottom, you can write on my refrigerator :D lol I'm getting custom happy :)


Van xx

aaa, spring...don't you feel it? It's amazing. I love how spring brings with it all these AMAZING changes like the change of the hour, I love how it's still light at 7 pm:) And suddenly you start smelling barbecue coming from nowhere. Joyfulness XD

I started writing songs again. A big thanks goes to matt for the awesomeness of JJ Heller, which I also have to thank Achie for giving to matt who then gave to me. I feel inspired. Yesterday night was mad, I was listening to her and suddenly I was thinking of my own lyrics hehe, and while listening to her writing mine. I wont put it down though, cause I'll probably regret it later, my first songs after a rusty pause are usually really cringing when I look back on them. Also I realised I started playing different. I had worship team today, and chords went out the window, I was playing a different tune lol. I am very excited :)

Leaving with happiness and spring hugs

When one finds God his or her trueness is supposed to shine out...to all. But I realise that true face...the face of love, gentleness, self-control, joy, patience, kindness, goodness and faithfulness...tends to hold back in front of people who don't know me and my relationship with God...I tend to wear these masks. Not bad masks or anything ta, just not me
Horrible, horrible :(

Over and out
nessy :)xxx

The soft wind teasing my hair, pushing it to and fro, the sound of the rope's effort seemingly comforting, that weightless feeling of when your being carried. My hands are burning slightly from holding on, and yet I cannot let go.
The time has come...my heart starts pounding . I feel each beat in my throat, louder louder...my knees tremor slightly but my feet are firm. I push up as hard but as slowly as I can. I can't believe I'm challenging physics. As soon as I get used to the position I hear an instructive shout from above. Without thinking I push ever so slightly, a bit of rope is released enabling me to move further down the massive rock. Suddenly my feet reach a different kind of stableness..my body straightens out..I am as nature intended, vertically upright. As a drop of sweat traces down my temple I can say out loud 'I've gone abseiling'.

Well sadly I haven't really, this is just what I thought it would be like hehe. Either that or a one scream till my feet hit ground. I'm supposed to be going tomorrow but I'm sick *sadness*

Prayers and sleepy kisses
Van

Just saw this video on you tube, tis a bit freaky, in fact I wanted to check if maybe they would need to use it for youthful worship one time, but i don't know it has this freaky vibe hehe.

Anyway the reason I posted it is cause it made me think of something: If you try to be like the world it gets harder every day, and the more you try, the more you fail..until one day, your'e going to break...becoming a a robot to the world doesn't look to ideal :S

Van :D

I'm back :D I found my water in the desert, my raincoat in the rain, my sword and sheild in the battle...I can gladly say, God and I are in love again. I can finally relax, give up everything to Him again. I really forgot what it felt like, to be able to give all my worries to Him. Thankfully his patience is beyond comprehension....

   First of all I want to say this: I rode on a motorbike :D Hehe I've always wanted to do it and today I was offered a lift home in one. YOu know those girls who look so comfortable on their bike, and hold on to the back of the seat, come off their motorbike, take off their helmet, shake their hair side to side, put the helmet down and walk away sexily...that so wasn't me :S It was more of a shivering so much cause the wind was cold on my face, couldn't put down the glass thingy on the helmet to cover my face, Shout in pain with every bump in the road (and im telling you, with a motorbike, you feel the bumps), the coming off the bike wasn't too bad it was kind of like getting off a horse, then....The Helmet Part! Hehe not easy to get it off your face lol, and my hair came in a one big puff :D But other than that it was lovely :D Always wanted to try it, finally have :D Big thanks to clinton who offered me the lift :) 

Its 9:30pm and I am in bed. This has been happening alot lately. I don't like it. Latley i have been feeling rather down low. Not depressed or anything, not even stressed out. I've got my usual amount of work to do, but I just don't want to do it. Not don't feel like but don't want to. I really just want to get away. Far far far away...

I love this pic, really shows what im feeling atm, theyre detatching from what they know....not the reproducing part hehe.

I'm a list person :D Hehe funny thing really, I would never have said that im a planner, but i actually planned out my life until summer. My days are structured by a paper that says what im supposed to be doing. It's quite funny really, I made this list, I could tear it up whenever it suits me, but I somehow feel compelled to stick to it because..why would I have written it in the first place if not to stick to it right?

On further inspection of this list I realised that i have no 'leisure time' or 'maintance time' (u know going from one place to another) as mike put it..so the list must be scarapped and re-done.

On a more normal note..tomorrow I have my first Speech Therapy Observation. I will officially know what my life wil be like in 4 years time :)

Also, I need more me-Jesus time. It's like im deliberatley avoiding God, and just don't want to speak to Him. No idea why I do this to myself. As Matt explained quite nicely..I'm in the middle of the desert...and i sure do want to get out of it about now, but I realised God isn't gna throw the water at my feet, instead he's giving me the strength to keep walking, and the patience to no give up. So I'll gladly take what he's giving me..and move forward, cause if I stay here, I'll die :S

I also realised something about blogging, which is truly nice...It's not really for the other people in my case, I dont even think my life is interesting or my writing style is cool. The thing is I sort out my thoughts by writing them down, and typing them down doesnt tire me at all.
So happiness on that..

I'm out...
Nessa
Gb, all who are in the desert too, keep walking ;)

Ok, so im blogging :D I still can't believe it. Thing is I see so many blogs and I love reading them and I've always tried to write a diary thingy but it never worked..it ended up being a list of things I did during the day like: I slept I ate I showered Went to school Came home.....So here I can actually write whenever I want and the design is done for me (which is one of the reasons I wanted to blog :D) Anywho...anyones welcome to enter my bubble...

I'm leaving you with me on my bubble hehe, for those who are judging the pic with a critical eye (*coughbrother*) please rem its my first time using photo shop. I would have loved to put me INTO the bubble but my skills havent advanced as far as yet :S

Thats it for now:)
Ness :D